When Doing A Good Job Starts Taking Too Much Out Of You
I caught myself doing this last week. It was a completely routine email. Nothing complicated. And I read it four times before finally hitting send. Honestly, it was fine by the second read. So what was I even looking for on the third and fourth pass? Not really mistakes. I think I was just waiting for that feeling that it was okay to let it go.
Maybe you do this too. Maybe for you it’s a report you’ve rewritten way more times than you needed to. Or a message sitting in your drafts because you’re waiting for it to feel completely right. Or a project that’s technically done, but for some reason, it just doesn’t feel done.
That doesn’t automatically mean anything is wrong. Sometimes it simply means you care about doing good work. But sometimes the amount of time, energy, and headspace you’re giving something starts to outweigh what it really needs. That’s usually when I get curious about what’s going on.
What Are You Actually Checking For?
Perfectionism can show up in a lot of ways, but one thing I notice is this habit of checking or tweaking things over and over, even when it’s not actually making the work any better. You might notice thoughts like:
“If I make a mistake, people will think I’m not capable.”
“I should already know how to do this.”
“If they have questions, I did something wrong.”
“I can’t send this until I’m completely sure.”
When thoughts like these show up, your stress response can become part of the picture too. Our brains are always evaluating what matters, what feels uncertain, and what could have consequences. The possibility of being judged, making a mistake, or letting someone down can create real physiological stress, even when there’s no physical danger.
So sometimes checking one more time gives you a little temporary relief. You read it again. You make one more change. You feel a little better. And that can make it tempting to keep going.
The tricky part is that, after a while, the extra effort may not really be improving the work anymore. It may be doing more to ease the discomfort of letting it go. That difference matters.
A Simple Check-In
One thing I’ve had to practice myself is pausing and asking:
What does this task actually need?
Does it need my very best work?
Does it need to be done well?
Or does it simply need to be done?
Not every task needs the same amount of time and energy. A routine email usually needs to be clear, accurate, and respectful. It probably doesn’t need the same level of attention as a big presentation or something with real safety consequences.
It sounds obvious when we say it out loud. But when you’re in the middle of it and your mind is saying, “Just check it one more time,” it can be a lot harder to remember.
Decide What “Done” Means
For me, it helps to decide a few things before I even start:
What is the actual goal of this task?
What are the most important things I need to check?
How much time is reasonable?
What will tell me I’m done?
For a routine email, that might mean checking the recipient, the main message, names, dates, and attachments. Read it once for clarity and tone. Then send it.
You might still feel a little uncomfortable when you stop. That discomfort doesn’t automatically mean the work is incomplete. Sometimes it just means you’re practicing stopping at a reasonable point instead of waiting until you feel completely certain. And that takes practice.
So the next time you catch yourself on the fourth read of something that was probably fine on the second, try asking yourself: Is this next change actually making the work better? Or am I trying to feel more certain before I let it go? That question usually gives me better information.
This is general education, not personalized medical advice. If perfectionism, anxiety, or repeated checking is significantly affecting your work, relationships, sleep, or daily functioning, it may be worth discussing with a licensed mental health professional.